Lit Device Short Story

Connor

I had been up all night. The sounds of cars and cries had kept me up. I had been keeping quiet all night, not letting anyone in my family know I was up. My mom had been crying. She always cried. She cried, and it was like she never stopped crying. She always tried to put up a brave face around us, but we all always could hear her. She always waited until we all went to sleep, or after she thought we were asleep.

About six months ago my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He died twelve days ago. She was head over heels in love with him. Sadness has overtook her whole body. It’s like she has no energy for anything, or anyone anymore. I’m the oldest of my brothers. There's Noah, he’s thirteen. Then Luke, he’s the youngest, only nine years old. It was the hardest for him, he was the most attached.  

My day consisted of me waking up, and making breakfast for everyone. My mother wouldn’t eat, but my brothers needed to. We would get ready, and go to school. We were all at different schools. It was hard on Luke to be away from Noah and I. We dropped off Luke at elementary school. He would whimper as we left. It never got easier for him. My dad everyday, used to take him to school, and now going back everyday without him by his side, just made it even harder on him. Noah would walk by himself. He acts all tough around everyone, but inside I know how truly sad he is. He won’t talk about his feelings, ever. I try but most times he sits in silence.

When I finally arrive at school, I go inside and navigate to my locker. I don’t have many friends, except my best friend Ben. We have been friends ever since kindergarten. The day I met him for the first time was the best day ever. We were inseparable. Ben was all I needed, and I’m thankful everyday, to have someone like him. He has such a perfect life. He has caring and loving parents. A nice house, and an adorable little sister. He never does anything wrong, always getting A’s. I sometimes got jealous of him, but I don’t let him know.

I walked to my first class. I was surprised to not see Ben sitting in his seat. I sit down, wondering where he could be. He didn’t tell me about a vacation, or anything like that. I had no clue where he could be. I’ll just have to ask him tomorrow. I tried to listen and pay attention, but my thoughts were getting all jumbled, and I couldn’t focus. I missed my dad. I missed him so much. I have to stay strong, I have to. It gets so hard. To put up a strong face. I don’t know how much more I can take.

I texted Ben at lunch to ask where he was, but he wasn’t responding. I called and called, but he didn’t answer. I decided to wait for him to answer. I’d wait. Sit, and wait.

I finished out the school day, and hopped on the bus. I walked to my front door, and opened the door. There was no point in locking it. Nothing valuable enough to take. The most valuable thing to us was already gone. Taken away. I was in such an emotional stage, and couldn’t let my mother see me like this. I was her rock. I turned around and walked to the sidewalk and sat down. A few seconds later, the mailman pulled up to my house. He got out and handed the mail to me. The top letter was addressed to me. I opened it confused. I found a folded piece of notebook paper inside. It read,

“Connor, I’m sorry I have to do this to you. I can’t take the pain anymore. There’s something that you don’t know about me. I’m not ok. I haven’t been in awhile. My dad abuses me. He hits me, and punches me. He kicks me sometimes. I get bruised and all he does in return is do it all again. Every night, he does it. It all got to be too much. This is why I’m writing you this letter. The one person who truly ever cared about me. I’m sorry to do this to you. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I am so thankful for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you in person, but then you would’ve tried to stop me. There is nothing you, or anyone could’ve done. I’m already dead inside.

I’ll miss you forever

-Ben”

My hands went numb. The piece of notebook paper drifted out of my hands. I thought his life was perfect. I thought my life was awful. At least my father cared for me. He cared. And Ben’s didn’t. I only bothered him with my problems. My sadness.

I walked into my house. I saw Luke and Noah sitting on the couch watching tv. I walked up to them slowly, wondering if I was going to regret what I was going to do.

“Goodbye, I love you both.”

“Where are you going Connor?” asked Luke.

“I’m going to be with Dad.”